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IELTS Essay Correction: Food Travels Thousands Of Miles.

Nowadays food travels thousand of miles before reaching consumers. It affects the agricultural and economy of the destination country and for this reason people should prefer food produced by local farmers. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answers and include examples from your experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Food is the basic necessity for the human beings survival (the survival of human beings). In many countries, food takes long time to move from one place to another, thus affecting and this adversely affects the agricultural sector and economic growth of the nation, t . Therefore, (You can’t connect two independent clauses using a comma. Please start a new sentence.) people should resort to consume (wrong word. Resort can’t be used in the context of food.) native food since it is inexpensive and devoid of chemicals which are harmful for the health.

Imported food is costly as compared to the local food. Price of external food Its price (Use a pronoun to refer back to imported food.includes the expense of transport and tax of gateway (Its price is higher due to transportation costs and customs duty.) which elevates its overall cost. However, (Wrong use of However. Discuss in class.) local food has no additional cost, therefore, are more economical. (Wrong sentence construction: Since the local foods entail no such costs, it is economical and easily suits the budgets of most people.) Moreover, if we spend money on local food, it will helps local farmers to improve their economic condition. However, (Wrong use of However.) if (You’ve used the IF-THEN construction in the previous sentence. Do not repeat it again.) we buy foreign food the money will go indirectly to the foreign countries who (Wrong adjective pronoun.) are already financially strong. (On the contrary, purchasing foreign foods benefits foreign countries which are already financially strong.) For example, in a newspaper, The Hindustan Times, it is said that price of one kilogram of rice can feed four people as compared to the price of one noodles box, (Bad comparison. Plus, how can PRICE feed people?) thus local food is cost effective. (For example, The Hindustan Times, an Indian newspaper, recently reported that while a person needs 100 rupees to feed himself on a local diet, he needs more than 1000 rupees to consume a similar quantity of imported food.)

Furthermore, the native food is without chemicals and preservatives. Foreign food has to travel long distances (Use and to develop a compound sentence.) and , it is stored for a longer period, t . Therefore, it is preserved with chemicals. (Restructure: Since foreign food has to travel for long distances, chemicals are used to increase its shelf life.) It not only affects increases the cholestrol level but also makes people obese. Last year, it is was (wrong tense) surveyed that thousands of people are suffering suffer from obesity due to the consumption of the foreign food. (This is not an example and it does not add new information to the paragraph. Do not write sentences that fail to add new value.) For instance, the government of India discovered in a survey that people who eat traditional Indian food are less obese than those who consume western, imported diet.

In conclusion, I think people should prefer local food as it is fresh and everyone can easily afford it. It will also improve the overall economy financial condition of the farmers which is the a crucial solution in the current scenario whereas foreign food is adversely affecting the health of the individual. 

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