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IELTS Essay Correction: Men And Women Work Full Time.

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household works. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give relevant examples. 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

In the present era, men and women are considered equal in society, so both work for full-time to earn money. I believe that household chores should be shared by them for professional progress and health benefits. 

A working person carrying out the entire responsibilities of a house becomes exhausted. (Carrying out the responsibilities of a house, a working person becomes exhausted.) Ultimately, he is left with poor power little energy and enthusiasm to execute professional tasks. Due to low energy, he may fail to achieve desired goals. (This is same as the previous sentence. Desired goals is vague. Professional tasks is clear.) With the By sharing of household works, both genders can work diligently and can thrive in their respective working fields. (You can write more specifically. Here is an example: If a husband washes utensils and cooks food while a wife cleans laundry and takes care of children, both of them can find time to devote to professional tasks.) Furthermore, their balanced involvement in household activities enables both of them to devote some time to fitness. They take part in gymnasium and yoga which helps help them in maintaining health. After spending about eight hours at work, if a couple shares household duties and completes them within three hours, they can conveniently find about one hour for exercise and meditation. This is vital for mental and physical rejuvenation. For instance, employees in the United States are more healthy and fit as compared to that of India, since the citizens of the former nation believe in sharing responsibilities which let both sexes concentrate on their healths.  (This is not an example. You’ve just put the names of two countries – the USA and India. There is no need for building an example here. Just elaborate on the idea.)

Moreover, at the beginning of human civilization, men and women were allocated different tasks depending upon physical strength. But, now technology has replaced human strength by machines and the entire work rely relies on the intelligence of a person (of an individual irrespective of gender). Owing to this, both sexes equally participate in economic activities. Therefore, they should also equally contribute in to household chores. In addition, while emphasizing (wrong word. You can’t emphasize on life.) focusing on professional lives, a couple hardly spends quality time together. Equal contribution in housework helps in not only spending a memorable time but also building strong understanding.

To conclude, since both genders work for full time at working fields (= work), it is their moral duty to equally contribute in houses household chores which enables them to balance personal and professional life. If they work equally in every field, they will be able to forge a healthy relationship and enhance working skills. 

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