Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?
40 minutes, 250 words at least.
In the modern era, individuals do not engage
themselves (no need to write this pronoun.) in physical activities and this causes has detrimental effects on their health. It has numerous causes such as sedentary lifestyle and lack of awareness. (This is primarily due to a sedentary lifestyle and lack of awareness.)
Due to advancement in
technology technologies ranging from smartphones to the internet (Incomplete sentence. “Due to X, Y.” Y is missing.) . P , people become lazy and they (no need of using this pronoun) waste all their time playing games on phone by sitting in their comfort zone. They indulge so deeply in the games and that they (so X that Y.) forget about a physical activity which is essential for their health. They do not want to do an activity which requires hard work. (They are disinclined towards activities that require hard work.) Earlier, there were not no smartphones and the internet. Therefore, people are were (wrong tense) more active and indulged themselves (no need for this pronoun) in physical activities such as cycling, jogging and walking. For instance, the who WHO has reported that 80 percent of youngsters are suffering from obesity since they do not do any physical exercise and sit for a long hours, play PUBG on their phone for several hours everyday. Moreover, busy schedules keep them away from physical activity such as long working hours and overtime in office. (You’ve raised another idea but have not explained it. Either don’t write it or explain it thoroughly. There was no need to write another point. You’ve written enough.)
Governments should take constructive steps to make people aware
about of (wrong preposition) the importance of physical activity. Therefore, (Wrong cohesive device. You’re not concluding an argument here.) various seminars should be held in all parts of the world. (Missing subject. Who is establishing?) Establish sports ground and parks in the society where they can do various exercises such as yoga, walking and running. (Let us combine the last two sentences and use they to refer to governments. They should hold seminars to make people aware of the benefits of an active lifestyle and establish sports grounds so that residents can do aerobics, yoga, and jogging.) Furthermore, the government should make (enact/ enforce) stringent employment laws by reducing working hours so that overtime does not affect workers health. The government of USA donot does not allow people to work more than 8 hours per day and, in remaining hours, an individual indulges in physical activity such as can workout in a gym , or play with friends. Also, (Missing subject. Who should organise?) organize health fairs in the society and demonstration on a healthy diet should be given to local people. The government should make it mandatory for students (wrong object placement. You’ve placed the primary object at the end of the sentence.) to do physical exercise for one hour in schools to students.
In conclusion, though people are busy in their life and follow a sedentary lifestyle, (missing context)
with the help of governments we governments can make people them aware about the importance of physical activities.