Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Employ Private Tutors.

Many parents today employ private tutors to teach their children after school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Parents often take help from private teachers to let their children study after school hours. (Alternate sentence: The trend of private tuitions is gaining popularity these days.) Since private tutors they can provide various interesting and exciting ways of learning, it is advantageous for children to take private classes after school.

(Overuse of the word private in the introduction. Use pronouns to prevent this. The trend of private tuitions is gaining popularity these days. Since they provide alternate and interesting ways to learn concepts, they are immensely beneficial for children.)

Every child has a different pace of learning and some children often need more hours to understand the a lesson in a classroom. Although teachers in school try to provide the best way of learning, some children find limitation in classroom training. Despite the best efforts of school teachers, they (refers to some children in the previous sentence) are unable to grasp the ideas and concepts. (DESPITE seems better than ALTHOUGH in this context. Avoid repetition of learning and classroom.An extra hour from a tutor after school certainly helps them to pick up the lessons and be at the same level as with other students because expert knowledge from a personal tutor clears their doubts on time(Nope. Your idea’s main theme is extra hour which is also the reason they hire tutors. It is given at the beginning of the sentence. You should not put another reason (expert knowledge) at the end of the sentence. Alternately, you can put both reasons at the same place. An extra hour from a private tutor coupled with her subject expertise helps them………)

Another benefit of a home tutor is the dedicated hour of learning. Nowadays, social media, television shows, and sports events create a distraction for children and getting hiring a private teacher becomes the reason compels (forces) them to focus on study. Many private tutors not only help children them (note that I’ve used them to refer to children. Avoid repeating a noun.) to complete the school work but also give extra exercises to complete. Children They feel responsible to complete all the tasks assigned to them and they study hard for certain after-school hours in a day. My elder brother, who is a doctor by profession now, always had a private tutor after school to get deep knowledge of medical science and it really helped him to crack the medical college exams. (The arguments in this body paragraph are well built. The sentence structure also seems good. There are a few LR issues due to the repetition of nouns.)

To conclude, I support the idea of hiring a private tutor because it helps children to fathom complex topics after school training and they become dedicated to their study.

1 reply »

  1. There is a trend of hiring tutors for children after school time, since it helps in getting knowledge and subject expertise but there is also negative development in many cases. This essay is a attempt to elaborate my views with pertinent arguments.
    To begin with the benefits of hiring mentors, They helps in gaining knowledge by revising topics twice as well as develop children’s ideas. For example- NEET Toppers have to accommodate mentors as they have very vast knowledge and helps in manage competition levels by providing extraordinary knowledgeable things from beyond the books. Moreover, teachers compels students to learn by giving unique illustrations as well as techniques to expertise in subject for their better performance.
    on the other hand, with extra teaching hours, students lose their self study time and depends upon tutors for their performance Furthermore, lecturer costs high charges but impoverished people cannot afford these due to their financial problems. So,poor section thinks if their child has bright future it is better to give money. it lacks children’s creative and innovative ideas. For instance, children who cracks competitive exams they prefer self study. Others who firstly depends on private teaching for their study later on they found difficulties in learning new things .
    To sum up, private tuitions has both phases of development – negative as well as positive since it provides betterment in children’s performance , earn handsome income, employment. But negative is due to heavy charges as well as dependency on teachers

    Like

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