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IELTS Essay Correction: Accept A Bad Situation.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such a situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

While some people believe that a better approach to life is to accept a bad situation since circumstances do not allow a person to search alternatives do not allow a person to wait for desired occupation in case of an unsatisfactory job, others think that he should consistently strive to overcome such situations to achieve success in life. (Express your opinion in the introduction as well.)

Many times, a person has to move act according to the circumstances of the family. If he is the only capable person to earn money to satisfy the needs of all members, he will accept any possible job to cater to their needs. In such a situation, he cannot sit idle and wait for an appropriate (a rewarding) opportunity. (The arguments are logically built. Good job!) Health medicos, a psychology hospital in India, revealed in a survey that more than 40% of the population is engaged in undesired professions only to fulfill the necessities of family members. (Which undesired professions? Which necessities? Not a strong example.) For example, many youngsters in Punjab are compelled to pursue farming, which has extremely low margins and requires hard labor, due to the poor financial condition of their family and lack of alternatives employment opportunities. Moreover, a bad situation like shortage of money helps in learning the skill of money management. A person who has endured such a situation not only saves money for tough times but also spends it prudently. (subject-verb disagreement.) (Should they not try to change the bad situation? Should they accept the shortage of money? Your idea does not convey the context. Tas Achievement.) Therefore, they must endure such unpleasant situations for at least a few years.

On the contrary, an unsatisfied individual, due to an undesired post despite difficult circumstances and low salary, should never stop trying to grow in a domain. The hunger to for success helps him aquire the required skills in that duration (in which duration? There is no reference.) to reach at higher positions. However, with the contentment at a position, he cannot endeavor to become successful. (Wrong use of HOWEVER. It can be used only to express contrast in the same context. Here, the context is of hunger.) If a person is contented, he can not ……… Therefore, low salary and huge ambitions must be kept in mind to focus in on work since they are the key to success to enhance economic prosperity and gain fame. For instance, Akshay Kumar, an Indian actor, worked as a waiter in a restaurant for 8 hours a day and utilized the rest of the time to learn martial arts and to build his physique because he had a desire to become an actor. He was never satisfied with his occupation and always focussed on his ambition which he gradually achieved. (This example is specific and follows the context of the paragraph.)

To conclude, I believe, though circumstances force an individual to accept some unpleasant/unfavorable situations, he must never abandon working hard to reach at the desired position. 

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