HUMAN ACTIVITY HAS HAD A NEGATIVE IMPACT ON PLANTS AND ANIMALS AROUND THE WORLD. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THIS CANNOT BE CHANGED, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT ACTIONS CAN BE TAKEN TO BRING ABOUT A CHANGE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
40 minutes, 250 words at least.
With the increase in population, humans
activities (1) have had a detrimental effect on flora and fauna all over the globe. While some individuals opine that this condition is irreversible as many species have already became (wrong verb form) become extinct, others think that some initiatives can be taken by the government to save the ecological system. I agree with the latter view. (The introduction is well constructed. You’ve also mentioned the reasons supporting both views. Good job!)
1. Here is the most important rule of modifiers. They talk about the NOUN they’re connected to. The noun in the main sentence is human activities. So, “with the increase in population” refers to human activities. How can the population of activities increase? Logically incorrect. The population of humans can increase. That sounds logical.
Some people assert that humans have done
an irreversible damage to the environment. The main reason is deforestation (You’ve not used any device to connect two independent clauses. This is incorrect. Let us make one of them a dependent clause using which.) through this many species of plants and animals have lost their natural habitat. This is primarily due to deforestation which has resulted in the loss of natural habitat for numerous animal and plant species. A report from the National Geographic channel has revealed that approximately 10,000 varieties of plants and animals went extinct in the forests of Australia due to deforestation. Hence, (This is not the right place to use hence.) there is not any no way to bring back the species that became have become extinct.
On the contrary,
many individuals believe I agree with the view that some actions by governments of all the countries should encourage people towards afforestation so that botanical gardens (These are man-made. Not natural. LR issue.) species on the verge of extinction can be preserved from extinction. In New Zealand, for instance, it is mandatory to plant ten trees before marriage to save the environment. As a result, this country is well known for rare plants species which are not found anywhere else in the world. Another way to preserve the ecosystem is by imposing a ban on hunting. In many countries animals are killed for obtaining various products. In India, Tigers were on the edge of extinction only because of (wrong preposition placement) their skin was used for making leather. However, after (You’re talking about a specific ban. Use the article the) the ban on this their killing, this country has a significant number s (number, not numbers) of Tigers.
To conclude, in my opinion, although human activities
posed (they still do. Right?) pose a huge threat to flora and fauna, yet (Correct construction: Although X, Y) some initiatives can maintain the ecological balance throughout the globe.