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IELTS Essay Correction: Watch Films On Tablets Or Cinema?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

The contentious (It is not contentious) arguments whether movies should be watched in a cinema or on phones, has sparked the heated debate (why heated? And why use article the?) (Arguments are part of a debate. They can’t lead to a debate. Sounds illogical. Wrong use of words.) among many people. Nowadays, technology and electronic gadgets are benefiting each category of society in all aspects. (This is too vague. You must write specifically. Discuss with me.) Due Nowadays, technology is easily available and accessible due to which some people prefer watching movies on their phones instead of going to the cinema. However, others believe that films should be seen in a theater so as to enjoy it fully. (Wrong use of However. It needs to be used in the same context. Also, you’ve mentioned the reasons in the previous sentence. Mention reasons in this sentence as well. Discuss in class.) As per my opinion, watching movies in a theater are more enjoyable. I will discuss both point of view in following paragraphs(Of course you will. That’s what you’re supposed to do.)

Certain parts sections/ members of society like to watching movies only in cinema halls. Talking about the advantages of watching films on large screen, one of the most important factors is because of the effects added in the film. (A lot of redundant, useless words. Also, you should combine the two sentences.) Movies with superb sound effects and 3D effects would be fun to watch in cinemas and viewers will get a completely different experience of that movie. (The argument is incomplete. Compare it with phones.) It is impossible to get this experience on a phone. Other than that Moreover, there exist many applications like Paytm, Google Pay, etc offering that have various offers and discounts to for their users, which makes (subject-verb disagreement) make a movie less expensive. (I can’t see a comparison between the two viewpoints. Loss of context.) Moreover, films (on phone or in the cinema? TA.) are the best source of entertainment and family get together. So, one gets quality time to spend with their closed ones; which further acts as a stress buster for them.

In contrast, there are several reasons why people prefer watching movies on phones or tablets. Firstly, (no need to write this. You can directly jump to the point.) due to hectic schedules people are not able to visit cinema halls. Therefore, they see (watch) films on their devices, whenever they have time available. Secondly, watching movies on phones is more pocket-friendly. They don’t do not need to spend more money on movie tickets, refreshments and traveling. One study has found that while watching a movie on Amazon Prime costs as little as 2 dollars, it costs more than 100 dollars in a cinema hall.

BP 2 is too short. You need to write more.

To conclude, watching films on gadgets or in cinema is one’s personal choice. In my opinion, people should watch movies them (use a pronoun to refer back to filmsin theaters to fully cherish them it. Specially movies like Avatar, Titanic 3D, Avengers, Transformers etc should be viewed in theaters to feel its real sense and effects completely. (This sentence is suitable for BP 1. Not for the conclusion.)

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