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IELTS Essay Correction: Accept A Bad Situation.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinions. 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Every person faces different types of bad situations ranging from family problems to poor economic conditions in life. While some individuals think it is good to accept situation such as an unsatisfactory job these situations happily since their monthly income wouldn’t does not stop, others say an individual should improve these circumstances by finding a new more rewarding job.

In the modern era, money is vital for the survival of human beings. Therefore, an individual sometimes does an unsatisfactory job for the sake of money. (This (refers to the previous sentence – helps avoid repeating money) compels an individual to engage in an unsatisfactory job.) The WHO has reported that though 60 percent of men in India are not happy with their job and face hurdles such as harassment and low salary from their boss, they accept the situation. (Good sentence structure with perfect parallelism) They think that if they resign from a job, how would their children will not (future tense with willsurvive without money. Moreover, a number of people at their the initial stage of career do a job at a low salary so that they can gain experience. Therefore, many fresher fresh graduates such as engineers, doctors, and nurses, despite of (do not use of with despite) unsatisfactory job, they continue with a job it (you’ve already mentioned unsatisfactory jobto gain experience in their respective field. 

On the contrary, an individual should do make efforts to improve these circumstances. Life is very long to live; (You need to separate two independent clauses) so one shouldn’t make compromises with the situation (which situation?). (Since life is long, a person can not live satisfactorily with low salary for years.) He should apply for a new job where all his requirements are fulfilled and he can enjoy the environment. (bad parallelism. Where – 1 and 2. All is not parallel to enjoy) It not only gives happiness to him but also makes him successful in life. Furthermore, a person is not happy with the job in a company (This sentence is incomplete. Please complete it.). He (If a person is not happy ….. , he should ……) should complain to the management to take necessary action against boss (why boss? What do you mean by not happy? Is this the same as low salary? Vague.) so that no one faces problem in the future and circumstances can be improved for all. (If a female employee suffers from sexual harassment or mental torture from a boss, she should immediately complain to the company’s senior management and lodge a police complaint.)

In conclusion, though some people do an unsatisfactory job to earn money, an individual should not accept the situation and take necessary action to improve the circumstances. 

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