Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Tourism And Environmental Problems.

The trend of increasing tourism causes environmental problems in many parts of the world. What are the main causes of pollution it creates? What can be done to reduce it?

Answer:

The significant rise in tourism has detrimental effects on the environment. The reasons of this are due to an (let us connect the two sentences and build cohesion – implicit.) increase in air pollution and difficulty in disposing of (1) solid waste. These problems are eliminated by organizing awareness programs and placing sufficient litter bins at various sightseeing places.

1. the correct construction is “dispose of X”.

There are numerous causes of environmental degradation at famous places. (2) Firstly, the harmful gases emitted from tourist’s tourist vehicles pollute the air. Most of the people prefer to visit the places at in their own (3) vehicles that significantly raising raises the count of cars and bikes at the on roads. According to the a (This is not a specific survey.) survey, there was a significant drop in the (the X of Y) quality of air due to excessive carbon monoxide at in Shimla during summer vacations of 2019. (Was this due to an increase in the number of tourist vehicles? The example is not well developed. – 4) Secondly, most of the tourists throw the solid waste anywhere regardless of their duty against nature the catastrophic environmental consequences. A huge amount of solid waste such as chips polythenes and plastic water bottles were found in deep seas that are harmful for the marine life. (I can’t see the role of tourism in the previous sentence. – 5) Recently, in Goa, a shark was found dead due to the consumption of tons of plastic thrown by the tourists.

2. There is no need for writing the first sentence. You’ve already written this in the introduction. You can directly begin with the first reason – pollution. The inflow of tourist vehicles is one of the primary causes of air pollution at a destination.

3. This is a tautology. When two words express the same sense or meaning, it is called a tautology. It is a GR mistake. For example, the following expressions are incorrect: My personal choice; My own pen; My car is blue in color.

4. According to a survey, every year the air quality of Shimla drops significantly during the summer season due to the inflow of hundreds of tourist vehicles from Chandigarh and New Delhi.

5. They (refers back to “tourists” in the previous sentence) dispose of plastic bottles, polythene bags, paper bags along with other inorganic waste which deposits in nature for hundreds of years.

These problems can be minimized by taking effective measures. It is important to aware the people about the adverse consequences of their environmental negligence against environment. Therefore, (Wrong use of the connecting device. Nothing suggests that you’re concluding an argument. The use of therefore is unwarranted.) The governments should frequently (wrong placement of words can impact your LR score.) initiate effective awareness programs frequently in the society to realize the tourists (Oops! Wrong construction can change the meaning.) so that tourists realize their duty to maintain preserve/ conserve the environment. Moreover, if proper monitoring is maintained by the government workers at famous places, then people will think twice before littering. (Monitoring? How? Please develop the argument by writing one more sentence.) (6) Additionally, an the adequate number of bins should be placed at the sightseeing places.

6. Moreover, proper monitoring is an effective tool in preventing tourists from irresponsible littering. The government of Uttrakhand recently launched a citizen and camera-based surveillance to keep an eye on visitors who litter in the Corbett National park and impose a hefty fine of INR 10,000 if someone is caught doing so.

To conclude, the evacuation emission (wrong word choice – LR issue) of hazardous smoke from visitor’s vehicles and difficulty of disposal of solid waste are (missing auxiliary verb) polluting the environment at a high pace. It is important for the government to take appropriate actions to preserve it.

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