Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
I’ve written another ANSWER to this question in February 2018. Please read that answer as well. There is also a video to watch with that answer.
Introduction: (Introduce the essay and MENTION reasons supporting each opinion. Also, MENTION your view.)
The 21st century has offered equal opportunities to everyone irrespective of gender. While some people think that women and men should be treated equally for vacancies in police and armed forces since they no longer require brawn but brain, others think that women need to perform maternal responsibilities. I agree with the former view. (Note the underlined words. These improve cohesion in your response.)
Body Paragraph 1: (EXPLAIN the reasons supporting the former opinion.)
Police and military were earlier reserved for men only as they required the use of physical strength. (Introductory sentence) With the emergence of technologies such as guns, electric batons, defensive pads, and communication equipment, (Note the use of a long INTRODUCER) women can perform these roles as efficiently as men. In the United States and Sweden, women are provided with this equipment and, a survey has pointed out, (additional information placed between two commas) that the areas in which women police officers serve witness a lower number of crimes. This is partly attributed to the persuasion powers of the fairer sex. Also, combating with an enemy requires intelligence since the days of hand-to-hand combat are long over. During the gulf war, (An introducer) women proved better drivers in combat situations than men and they saved a large number of lives through their intelligence and a stronger sense of judgement than male drivers.
I am sure that while reading the above paragraph, you guys noticed the use of articles (determiners). If not, please read it again.
Body Paragraph 2: (EXPLAIN the reasons supporting the latter opinion.)
Despite the aforementioned strengths of women, (An introducer which also acts as a cohesive device.) they have to perform maternal roles at some point in life. Some people think that when a woman gives birth to a baby, she needs a vacation of about one year so that she can nurture the child. This prevents her from engaging in regular training programs and she loses touch with the profession. Often, retraining for police and military roles is impossible partly due to long and exerting work schedule and partly due to loss of physical strength.
Though there are conflicting opinions regarding the ability and fitness of women in armed forces, I think we need to give them equal opportunities so that society is fair and just for everyone. Denying them this responsibility will not only be an injustice to one gender but also make society less stable.
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Categories: Blog, Writing Task 2