Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?
The way most people communicate
with one another (unnecessary. The meaning is clear even if you avoid these words.) has changed a lot now (1) because of the advancement in technology. It has (Note that you can’t provide change. You can lead/ introduce change.) provided led to a tremendous change (3) to the in relationships, which are formed on social networking sites, (2) and it is a positive development because people can talk to their loved ones regularly, who live s far away.
1. HAS = present tense. NOW = Present. No need to repeat.
2. Note the sentence structure: Main sentence, adjective clause, main sentence. The adjective clause just provides additional information and has no impact on the main sentence. That is why it is placed between two commas.
3. What type of change is it? Positive or negative. The latter part is a positive development. The nature of the change will help you frame a better sentence. Let us assume it is a positive change: The use of social networking sites has helped people expand their friend circle at an unprecedented pace and keep in touch with distant relatives.
In the present
time, (present is time. Ne need to write both.) many men and women, who share the same interest (who have common interests), develop relationships on networking websites and prefer to interact with each other with the help of video calling feature. This option is available on all social networking websites, (4) Facebook, WhatsApp, Orkut, and Skype, and can be used to make calls in any part of the world for free of cost. This has resulted in less number of fewer (5) fake profiles and relationships because people can communicate face to face which helps them to decide what is right for them (helps them make the right choice). For example, my sister, who has (6) found her life partner on a matrimonial site three years ago, took the help of video calling facility to interact with her husband, who was living in Australia at that time.
4. Try to make as few repetitions as possible. Since you’ve already written networking websites in the previous sentence, it is advisable to write the names of a few of them. Like icing on the cake. This will serve dual purpose – prevent repetitions and act as an example.
5. Note that less is uncountable in nature while number and fake profiles are countable. Use an adjective which is countable in nature.
6. Wrong tense. She found three years ago. That’s past. Not present perfect.
positive (similar to beneficial) development is really beneficial for those who live s abroad away from their friends and family. (abroad does not convey the message.) In the past, making voice calls to the loved ones, who reside s at distant locations in western countries, were was (7) quite expensive. But after the launch of mobile phone applications such as Skype and WhatsApp, getting in touch with Friends and family them has become so easy easier and convenient. Moreover, people can make video calls and exchange (share) their photos and videos with each other. (When you write exchange or share, it includes each other.) For instance, in the past, (wrong placement of interruptor) many students in the past, who go to went (Wrong tense. You’ve used the past tense. Also, the preposition is incorrect. There is no need for one.) abroad for their further studies, were deprived (8) of these features and suffered from homesickness whereas now scholars they are regularly in touch with their family and friends and living a balanced life there.
7. Subject-Verb disagreement. You subject phrase is “Making voice calls to the loved ones“. It is singular in nature.
8. You can’t be deprived of something that does not exist. You can’t be deprived of “nano memory chips that act as a repository of all information and knowledge and are fixed in brain through nano-robotic surgery“. You know why? This doesn’t exist. Or, a person can’t be deprived of the Covid-19 vaccine since it has not been discovered yet. LR issue.
In conclusion, those who make online relationships take the (Note the construction: the X of Y.) help of a video calling facility to know
the a person more better (better includes more) (LR issue) which was not possible in the past and those who live far away from their families can now keep in touch with them on a regular basis which is a positive development. (Of course, it is. No need to write positive development.)