Some people think that public libraries are necessary, while others believe that nowadays public libraries are no longer important. What is your opinion?
Undoubtedly, public libraries are a crucial source of information and education for many people. While some people say
these they (1) are necessary as they provide free access to the (Not referring to specific books) books, others opine that these they are insignificant since not many people very few individuals use them in the contemporary world. I agree with the former view. (2)
1. Though there is a subtle difference between these and they, it is important. THESE is a “demonstrative adjective pronoun”. It needs the presence of a noun. ‘These libraries’ is more apt. THEY, on the other hand, can stand independent of a noun.
2. Note that this is NOT a “discuss both views and give your opinion” essay. It seeks only your opinion. You need not state the other side’s perspective. Follow the economy of words (brevity) to score above 7.5.
Undoubtedly, public libraries are a crucial source of information and education for many people. They are indispensable for modern society as they not only offer books to their members at a reasonable cost but also act as repository of rare books that are out of circulation. (Only mention the reasons supporting your opinion.)
Public libraries have a plethora of expensive books that are available for people (members/ readers)
to rent at minimal rents rates or sometimes, free of cost. (Why write unnecessarily wordy sentences? ‘to rent’ has a strange placement.) Those who cannot afford to buy expensive books (writing ‘expensive books’ in the first sentence helps you avoid repetition.) them prefer to borrow them from the library for educational purposes. It also benefits (It also radically transforms the life of ……) destitute students who cannot afford to study in schools and universities. For instance, according to a 2018 survey conducted in Japan, around three thousand economically poor people managed to secure decent jobs , (wrong punctuation) by using the knowledge they have (this is the past of past. Use the past perfect tense) had gained from reading books at public libraries , in the year 2018. (GR issues.) (The example can be better constructed by writing more specifically. Let us re-write this example: According to a 2018 survey conducted in Japan, around three thousand economically poor people gained professional knowledge of civil, mechanical, and computer engineering for free from the country’s central library to secure well-paid jobs in companies such as Softbank, Suzuki, and Toyota.)
Moreover, public libraries act as a warehouse of a wide variety of books that are not readily (3) available in the market
easily. They preserve and store numerous original copies of conventional ancient books (LR issue) from ancient times, which help to understand the culture (What is the culture of books? The idea seems strange.) and evolution of books over time (Why evolution of books? Why not the evolution of human civilization?). For instance, traditionally, books were handwritten using organic colours that were extracted from plants. Similarly, many authors used tree leaves as papers to write their stories. (Okay. But, I can’t see the culture and evolution of books in this example. – 4) All these forms of books are carefully preserved in public libraries. Thus, closing them will eventually result in the loss of these precious books. (The question is that some people think they are not important. There is no reference of closing them down.)
3. The best placement of an adverb is next to a verb or an adjective.
4. Be more concrete and imaginative. Step 1: What is my religion? Step 2: What is the sacred book of my religion? Step 3: What is the name of a famous library in my country? Now write the example: For instance, the Nehru Library in New Delhi has carefully preserved the original copies of Ramayana, Mahabharata, and Guru Granth which were written on leaves of different plants using organic, plant-based colors. These documents offer unbiased insight into the history and culture of India. No other institution has the human, financial and scientific resources to prevent the decay of these precious books.
To recapitulate, I believe that public libraries play a crucial part
for in the development of society as they not only do they provide free access of books to the needy, but also act acts as a repository of various conventional books. (Let us keep they outside and develop parallelism for verbs. The structure is not optimum.)