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IELTS Essay Correction: Paying Tax Is The Only Duty.

Some people think that paying tax is their only duty, while others believe that we have more responsibilities towards our society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Answer:

In this emerging rapidly changing (Emerge seems strange for the world) world, both the government and citizens play an essential role in the development of society. While some people think that paying tax is the only liability (1) duty (responsibility) of a citizen towards society since social work is the sole (2) responsibility of government only, others believe that they (they can’t refer to the singular subject – a citizen) must also come forward to help the government (in what? – 3). I favor the latter view.

1. Liability is very different from responsibility. While liability refers to a legal obligation for which you can be compelled to pay back.

2. The placement of the word sole matters. Does the government have no other responsibility? The word only (placed after government) is sufficient. 

3. Note that to avoid a LR issue of repeating social work, you’ve written ‘help the government‘. But, they are not the same. This leads to a TR mistake. A better sentence structure will be when you place social work as the subject of the sentence. While some people think that as SOCIAL WORK is the responsibility of the government only, citizens should fulfill the duty of paying taxes, others believe IT requires the participation of stakeholders.

Nowadays, since most of the (delete unnecessary words) people are extremely occupied in their jobs, they cannot spare enough time to work for a social cause. Therefore, to contribute to society, they pay a significant part of their income in the form of tax to the government. This money is used to fund various development activities ranging from constructing roads to building hospitals (4) and recovering (recovering is not an activity) from natural calamities. For instance, during the 2002 floods in Chennai in 2002, the Indian government used one thousand crores of tax money to cover up (LR issue. Cover-up refers to hiding something illegal from the public.) rebuild the infrastructure infrastructural damage and fund the disaster management team to rescue the people.

4. How are constructing roads and building hospitals a social responsibility for citizens? I think these activities do not fall in the scope of citizens. They do not have the collective might to implement these projects. So, we can’t say they do not have the TIME to implement these projects. It uses these funds to feed hungry people on the streets, teach children in villages and slums, and provide shelter to the needy. For example, the government of Punjab spends 500 million rupees of the taxpayer money to run schools in villages where children can enroll for free and eat nutritious meals in the afternoon.

On the other hand, since ignorance by citizens (5) the ignorance of citizens is a prominent reason behind several social issues, they should broaden their responsibilities (But they are ignorant. They lack awareness of responsibilities. How can they simple broaden their responsibilities if they lack awareness? Coherence issue. Logic missing. Since the government can not serve all the needs of society, the citizens should actively participate in its development.) towards society. For instance, Shimla, a city in north India, faced a severe shortage of water in the year 2015 due to the rapid increase in the number of tourists that year. To curb (They are not curbing the issue. CURB refers to controlling something that is not wanted. CURB the spread of covid-19.) the issue conserve water and promote its judicious use, many hotel owners came forward and restricted tourists to use a single bucket of water per individual in a day. This move helped the government to tackle the problem effectively.

5. Ignorance = lack of knowledge. “Lack of knowledge by citizens” seems strange.

To recapitulate, although some people think that paying an excessive amount of (the question does not demand the use of excessive tax. It just wants TAX.) tax is enough to help society, I believe that they have numerous other roles and responsibilities, as a citizen for the betterment of the society(Wrong modifier. “As a citizen …. society” can not modify (give additional information) about responsibilities. It should be placed next of they. …. I believe, as citizens, they have numerous other roles and responsibilities for the betterment of the society.

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