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IELTS Essay Correction: Scientists More Valued Than Artists.

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Answer:

Both artists and scientists play a significant role in human civilization. In the modern era, it is commonly believed that people give more value to scientists and technologists the latter as compared to the former artists and musicians. I completely disagree with this statement as singers and actors get more public recognition due to the nature of their job.

A Singer’s, an actor’s, and a painter’s works get public recognition due to its their (can’t use a singular pronoun to refer to plural subject) nature. (1) Their work is They are (let us use they to refer to works.displayed on various platforms such as television, internet, and exhibitions. People who watch movies are always curious to know who the actor is and appreciate him for his work if they like it (1). Similarly, they admire painters when they visit exhibitions to see the masterpieces (Needs to be plural). For instance, Leonardo da Vinci is well-known for his painting ‘Monalisa’ Painting. In On the contrary, scientists and technology experts work at the backend to innovate vaccines, gadgets, and cars. People like these products and buy them without bothering who invented them; consequently, an innovator does not get public attention.

1. Your idea is about nature of work. But, I can’t see an explanation about this topic. You could have closely linked movies to the nature of work. These days, people watch a movie if it includes the work on musicians like Rehman, actors like Irrfan, and directors like Anurag Kashyap.

Moreover, actors and singers are paid more money as compared to a technology expert due to their huge fan following. Since they have a massive influence on people’s buying habits, companies approach them with attractive incentives for advertisements of the products that were invented by its engineers. A survey revealed that, In India, , in 2017, twenty percent people percent of Indians bought the Tesla car, which has been developed by Elon Musk, because their favourite actor, Sharukh Khan, promoted it. (You need to put a year since you’re writing in the past tense. Otherwise, write in the present tense. A recent survey has revealed that more than twenty percent of Indians prefer Tesla Electric car over Toyota and Ford diesel cars because Shah Rukh Khan, a famous Indian actor, is a brand ambassador of Tesla. Every year, the company is paying more than a million dollars to the actor.) It also stated that he was the reason behind the increase in the sale of this car because of which he was paid five times more money than Elon Musk(Write in fewer words and with more clarity. Your purpose is to express that the company is paying him a lot. Stick to it.)

To conclude, I believe that although scientists and technology experts play a major role behind in various inventions, artists and musicians earn more respect and money due to the type of their job.

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