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IELTS Essay Correction: Elderly People In Nursing Homes.

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Answer:

It is increasingly common for the families to send their elders to nursing homes instead of taking care of them at home. There are numerous benefits and drawbacks of this trend (1) ranging from the availability of professional care-takers to feeling of loneliness among elders living in these homes.

1. Note that ranging from X to Y can be used either for benefits or for drawbacks. Not for both. If you’re planning to mention only one benefit and one drawback, I suggest not using this construction. It is better to write: Though care homes ensure the availability of professional caretakers (Obviously an advantage), the elderly feel loneliness at these places (Obviously a drawback).

The old-age homes provide professional medical staff that looks after their (2) elderly members. Since old age people they are vulnerable to various health issues due to their weak immune system, medical specialists help them in maintaining a good health status. For instance, in-house doctors in nursing homes advise the elderly about not only physical activities but also nutritious diet to develop a strong immunity to diseases gain superior health, which eventually reduces their risk of getting ill. Additionally, the cooks of care homes are trained to prepare nutritious food rich in vitamins, minerals and micro-nutrients , full of nutrition, that helps in strengthening of joints and muscles of the elderly. Nursing homes in the United States, for example, serve all the meals that contain the appropriate amount of protein and vitamins required for a healthy elderly body(Instead of writing another example, let us use this space to make a comparison.) Family members have neither the expertise in taking care of the elderly nor the knowledge to ensure proper diet.

2. Strategically, you should not use their. Removing it does not impact your sentence’s meaning and gives you the opportunity to use they in the next sentence to refer to elderly members in the previous sentence.

Despite the above benefits, there are certain detrimental effects of sending the elderly to nursing homes. Firstly, while they provide excellent service to the members, they are not pocket friendly (extremely expensive) for many people. A recent report by the Ministry of Health revealed that the average cost of staying in a care home is sixty dollars per person per day. The price is high because they have to meet the high cost of employees, rent, and electricity. Secondly, since older people are living away from their homes when the elderly live in nursing homes, they do not get to see their family members every day. It generates the feeling of loneliness among in them, which affects their mental health, and, as a result, their overall well-being suffers.

To conclude, although nursing homes are a costly option for many people, the quality service provided by them is incomparable in terms of medical assistance and nutritious diet. However, ideally, they should also emphasize on the mental health of elders to make an ideal place for them(pronoun referencing mistake.)

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