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IELTS Essay Correction: Different Nationalities And Cultural Backgrounds Living Together.

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree?

Answer:

Nowadays, every country is a residence to a plethora of foreign nationals. Some people believe that the this (let us use ‘this + noun’ construction for reference.) diversity of nationalities and cultures among residents fosters (boosts) the growth of a nation. I entirely agree with the statement as it not only brings professional expertise to the country but also teaches several beneficial cultural (ethics are cultural in nature. No need to write this word. LR.) ethics and morals.

In search for of expertise in various fields ranging from software development to business analyst, companies hire people from across the world. Since these hirings bring highly skilled individuals to the a country, it helps local companies to compete with foreign competitors and gain a higher position in the global market. For instance, Grab, a cab service company in Singapore, hired mobile developers, business managers and digital marketers from India and China to compete with the a foreign brand, Uber, who which was taking away hundreds of millions of revenue from the country every year. With the efforts of these foreign employees, three years later, Grab (1) was able to take over the Uber business; consequently, boosting the country’s economy.

1. You’ve done a wonderful job in writing perfect sentence structures. Here, there needs to be a minor readjustment of words so that the reader does not face problems in linking introducer and modifier with the subject. Three years later, Grab, with the efforts of these foreign employees, was able to take over the Uber business.

Additionally, residents from different nationalities bring different cultures to the country, which contribute to its development in many ways. (Please raise an idea before coming to the example.) When migrants settle down in a country, they bring their cultural practices and institutions that often prove beneficial materially and spiritually. While the Hindus have enriched the west with Yoga and meditation while Buddhism has contributed peace and tranquility. Similarly, For instance, (Note that there is no need to write for instance’ to write an example. The implicit form of writing is always superior. You just have to understand the ART. But, if you find this hard to follow, please continue with your usual practices.) the Sikh people in America has have not only built one thousand Gurudwaras which that provides free meals to the poor people but also formed several non-profit organisations that volunteer in adverse situations such as earthquake and floods to alleviate people’s sufferings help the people suffered from it. Inspired from them, many native Americans started participating in charity work that helps to move the country ahead.

In conclusion, when people from different regions of the world live together in a country, they add cultural and technical (What’s that?) values to the nation, which boost it’s its social, cultural, and economic development. (Voice notes.)

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