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IELTS Essay Correction: Computers Instead Of Books.

Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films, and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

Answer:

With innovations in educational (you’ve used this word in the next sentence. There is no need to write it here.) technologies, many modern techniques are available for interactive learning of the a child. Some people think that schools should replace books with educational videos, films and computers that offers offer (plural subjects) digital learning courses. (1) I entirely (When you write disagree, it is 100%.) disagree with the view as relying on video technology them (use a pronoun to refer back to technologies in the previous sentence.) can not only deteriorate the eyesight of a child but also decrease the concentration level.

1. Loss of logic OR lack of LR to express your ideas – computers, videos and films can’t offer courses. Companies, schools, governments can. Perhaps you wanted to communicate something else.

Modern educational techniques involve video graphics-based learning programs that are operated on mobile phones, tablets, or computers. The blue rays coming out from the screens of these devices are evidently bad harmful for the eyes since it causes they cause (need a plural pronoun to refer to blue raysintense strain on it (the pronoun ‘it’ can’t refer to eyes.). Long Prolonged exposure to such visuals leads to numerous eye-related issues among the children. (Prolonged exposure to these screens reduces children’s eye-sight.) On the other hand, books reading books is completely safe for the eyes. For instance, a research conducted by the World Health Organisation revealed that ninety percent of the children who study in smart schools, which have computer-based educational programs, (the modifier for schools ends here.) face eyesight problems such as nearsightedness and farsightedness in at an early age as compared to those who study in traditional books based schools.

Additionally, books help students to concentrate on studies better as compared to technology-based programs computer programs and videos. (stick to the question. Also, you’ve repeated technology several times.) Several technological The gadgets which are used for such programs are also a source of many distractions such as games and cartoons. (Let us write a real-world example to build an argument.) While watching a physics video on Youtube, for instance, a student has the option of watching a song or a comedy show. This prevents her from learning effectively and efficiently. In contrast, books provide a more focused learning experience for a student since it sources educational content only (The pronoun ‘it’ can’t refer to books.) they contain text only and are free of any distraction. Consequently, children who study from books tend to score more than those who study from videos or educational games.

To conclude, I believe that books are an effective medium of teaching students and should not be replaced with videos, films, or computers since it ensures they ensure better learning for the children.

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