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IELTS Essay Correction: Lowering Speed Bar Leads To Road Safety.

Some people say that lowering the speed bar will lead to road safety, while others believe that there are many factors which can contribute to road safety. What is your opinion and discuss both aspects.

Answer:

Different people have distinct sets of views regarding crucial factors for road safety. While some believe lowering the speed bar is the best method, others think that the good condition of vehicles and roads also contributes into to road (repeated several times.) safety. (GOOD does not communicate much. Let us be more specific. … others think that smooth roads and well-maintained vehicles are equally important.) (equally important = as important as speed bar. This prevents the repetition of the word ROAD.) I strongly support the latter view. (I’ll suggest you to support BOTH views in this essay. You’ve done so in the conclusion. Express this in the introduction as well.) I think along with speed limit road safety is a result of several factors.

On the one hand, while driving as per the guided (‘Speed limit’ is a legal term that refers to a limit imposed as per LAW. The use of ‘guided’ is unnecessary.) speed limit might not give enough time to driver to overcome any mishappening (You mean ‘high speed limit’.) (1), lowering it enables them to respond quickly in avoiding to avoid fatal situations (= to avoid any mishappening. No need to write this. See 1.). As (The use of AS is not correct in this sentence. Also, do not use it with therefore. AS = Because = Since.) with the low speed of the vehicle, it is totally under the control of the driver (A slow moving vehicle is completely under the control of the driver and ……) and, therefore, in case an accident happens, its impact will be very low, in comparison to, (This is part of the main sentence. Not an interruptor. Do not use two commas.) collision between high-speed vehicles. Thus, the devastating results such as fractures in the body and losing prestigious lives can be avoided by lowering down the speed bar and, consequently it leads to it promtes safety on roads.

1. Let us rewrite the sentence to compare TWO speed limits. While high speed limit does not get sufficient time to react to any possible mishappening, lowering it enables them to respond quickly.

On the other hand, vehicles on roads should be free from any mechanical fault for maintaining the safety of people. (2) When a car driven on a highway in night time whose head lights does not turn on, will When, during night driving, a car’s headlights fail to turn on, it may end up meeting an accident. (Weak sentence structure.) Due to the poor visibility of the road, a driver, generally, rams (this does not happen generally. It happens occasionally.may ram his car roadside and, hence, people sitting inside it (subject-verb disagreement) die dies. This is why vehicles condition vehicles should be thoroughly (You can’t check the conditions. You can check the vehicles.) checked before running them to ensure the safety of every individual on road. Moreover, unlike free roads (What are free roads? LR issue.), potholes on them (on what? There is no clear reference for them.) act as a nightmare for people driving 2 wheelers on it. (Moreover, if the roads are not regularly maintained and have potholes on them, the people driving two-wheelers may meet an accident.) They may loose lose their balance and fall down instantly and, sometimes, it fractures the body parts of victims(3)

2. You need to connect this with the previous paragraph. Also, these factors are not opposed to the factor of slow speed. “On the other had” gives the impression that these factors are opposite to the factor of speed bar. On the other hand, maintaining people’s safety on roads not only on speed bar but also on the mechanical condition of the vehicles.

3. Sentence structure: Note that the sentence has 3 elements that can be connected as “A, B and C” using the rules of parallelism. Let us use verbs to create parallelism. They may lose their balance, fall down instantly, and fracture their body parts.

In conclusion, although lowering speed bar will lower the chances of an accident, damage-free vehicles (well-maintained vehicles) and no dump smooth, pothole-free roads will help people in not only saving their lives but also reaching destination on time.

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