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IELTS Essay Correction: No Need For Cinema Halls.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in the cinema. 

Discuss both these views and give your opinion. 

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

With the proliferation in of technology, online movie streaming is gaining popularity among the audience. While some people prefer watching movies on their mobile phones or tablets than (1) in cinemas, others believe that only cinema theatres can provide a suitable environment for enjoyment. I favor the former view since movies on digital platforms are cheap and save a significant amount of time.

1. The correct construction is ‘prefer to’. Also, you can’t compare the act of watching with cinemas. Compare the comparables. …. prefer watching movies …… to seeing them in cinemas.

 Now Thesedays, the majority of the movies are readily available on numerous online streaming platforms such as Netflix. These platforms They charge considerably less as compared to than cinemas do. the high ticket pricing of cinemas. (Their prices are far less than that of the cinemas.) For instance, a regular movie ticket at the PVR cinema costs two hundred rupees while an on-demand movie on Youtube costs only seventy-five rupees. Moreover, watching a movie film (you’ve used movie several times.) on portable gadgets, instead of watching it in a cinema, saves a lot of time, which in the latter case is wasted on travelling to the theatre, parking the vehicle and walking to the movie auditorium. (Sentence structuring is too confusing. This is how it proceeds: online movies — cinema — online movies — cinemas. Your sentence is divided into 4 parts. Let us divided it into 2 – online movies — cinemas. 

Moreover, while watching a film in a cinema consumes a lot of time driving, parking, and walking to the hall, (clause on cinema) there is no such issue with online movies. (clause in online movies)”

 While Though (2) mobile phones provide a convenient mode of watching a movie, it kills they kill (The subject of both clauses has to be the same – mobile phones.the cinematic experience. These days, since movies are made with technologies like Dolby Atmos and 3D-graphics, it is they are (the pronoun refers to plural subject – movies.meant to be experienced in an environment that supports such high-end technologies. Specialized music systems and 3D-screens are installed at the cinemas for the user to feel the impact of these technologies the movie scenes. Whereas, phones or tablets lack such technologies; consequently, leading to poor visual and sound experience. (Let us use the pronoun ‘they’ to refer to technologies. They can not be installed in phones and tablets and people get a poor visual and sound experience.) For instance, Avatar, the first movie made with 3D visuals and high-end graphics, was able to attract a million people to the cinemas because of the unique experience it offered offers.

2. Let us replace this with ‘though’ since I’ve suggested ‘while construction’ in the previous sentence. There is a subtle but important difference between WHILE and THOUGH. See voice notes.

 To conclude, even though portable movie services services like Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hotstar, and Voot do not provide the best user experience, I think they provide a cost and time-effective medium of entertainment, which is eliminating the need to go to the cinemas.

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