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IELTS Essay Correction: Watching Films On Phones Or Cinema.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Answer:

With the advent of mobile phones and tablets, many people think that they (Why create a pronoun confusion? they = people; them = phones and tablets. Let both refer to the same noun. – 1) can watch movies on them instead of watching in cinema as it saves their money as well as their time. Others believe that a cinema provides a more enjoyable experience since it has a big screen and a good sound system installed. I agree with the latter view.

1. With the advent of mobile phones and tablets, many people prefer to watch movies on them (= phones and tablets) instead of a cinema hall as they (= phones and tablets) are a cheaper source of entertainment.

On the one hand, many people prefer to save their money by watching a picture at their home on their cell phones. (The use of the pronoun – their – is completely unnecessary.) There are various websites and applications such as Netflix, Amazon prime that provides provide (subject-verb disagreement) quick access to the latest movies in a blink of an eye. Membership on these channels is quite cheaper as compared to than (Correct construction: cheaper than, longer than, smaller than, greater than.the price of movie tickets in the a cinema hall. (It will be wonderful if you can frame the previous sentence with some real-life numbers: While the monthly membership fees for unlimited access to these websites is rupees 300, a single cinema ticket costs rupees 350.) Moreover, they think that watching a movie at cinemas consumes (subject-verb disagreement) a lot of time in commuting to theatre and booking tickets online. Thus, they prefer to save their crucial time by watching movies on their phones and tablets.

On the other hand, I believe that watching movies in cinemas is the best experience since these places are dedicatedly built for watching movies (repetition) (On the other hand, I believe that cinemas are dedicatedly built for watching movies and they offer the best experience.). They have installed (cinemas have NOT installed screens. They just have them. Management installs the screens.) big screens that not only give a better experience than small screens of mobiles but also save the eyesight of the viewer from the harmful blue rays that are emitted from mobile screens. Moreover, they have a better superior quality of sound systems that provides a fantastic experience for viewers. Due to the enclosed structure of cinemas, the latest technology techonologies such as Dolby audio, surround sound is are best enjoyable in them. 

To recapitulate, although watching movies on a mobile screen saves time and money, I think that cinemas are a better place to enjoy the movies. 

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