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IELTS Essay Correction: Teenage Years Happiest In Lifetime.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

Some people believe that a person is the happiest during his teenage years since he has the boundless energy and time during this time (= during his teenage years.) to enjoy the life. Others think that a person in his adult life he is more happy happiest in adult life since he accepts the (You’re not referring to a specific difficult situation.) difficult situations with maturity to become happy. (There are unnecessary repetitions of happy and time.) I agree with the latter view.

On the one hand, during his teenage years, a person has enough time to make trips with his friends and family to enjoy the (Wrong use of article the.) life. At this age, (Unnecessary. Once you’ve stated ” at the beginning of the paragraph, there is no need to rewrite. This counts as a repetition.) he is studying in either college or school, and these institutions provide enough holidays to students. For instance, in India, the government colleges give students almost 100 holidays in a year, which can be utilised to make trips and enjoy life. Whereas in adulthood, a person cannot have so many holidays as office only provides limited leaves in a year. Thus, at this age, he hardly gets time to visit places and enjoy with his family and friends.

On the other hand, I believe that a person in his adulthood is happier happy (‘happier’ demands comparison. You’ve not made any.) since he gets is financially stronger independent at this age. Above 25, (No need to write this. It is obvious that this sentence is about adulthood. Also, the definition of adulthood nowhere states the number 25.) a person is earning earns enough to meet his daily expenses and buy his favourite things, which brings bring happiness in his life. Moreover, he controls his emotions and learns to accept (You’re not referring to a specific situation.) the a situation despite even if things are not in his favour. It helps him to live happily in every difficult phase of his life. Whereas (WHEREAS can express contrast within a sentence. Not between two sentences. Its usage is incorrect here.) teenagers, in contrast, have less control over their emotions (You’ve already used the words control and emotions in the previous sentence. Try to write the same idea in different words.) behave impulsively and, in a difficult time, they lose patience and become sad and depressed.

To recapitulate, although people think that teenagers are more cheerful than adults, I think that adults are more content since they readily accept the a situation to stay happy.

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