Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: A Healthy Person.

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercises, and avoids stress. In your country, what people do to stay healthy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

According to health experts, a person that who follows a healthy meal plan, involves in physical activities, and fights against stress, is tend to be a fit being stays healhy. (“fit being” is weird. It is not the same as “healthy“.) In my country, people are highly inclined (HIGHLY does not suit with inclined and aware – BP 2.) towards simple, healthy food and strict workout regime that make them physically healthy. The joint family culture along with traditions and festivals help them to maintain their mental health. (The introduction is clear, concise and well-written. Good Job!)

In India my country, (Let us not repeat ‘my country’ again.) most of the people consume healthy food such as green vegetables and seasonal fruits that provides provide numerous benefits. For example, in my residential area (in my neighborhood), almost every home has a kitchen garden, where they grow (article mistake) the chemical free veggies vegetables free of pesticides and other harmful chemicals, and prepare the (article mistake) fresh meals every day. Therefore, the important vitamins and nutrients from these, (wrong punctuation mark. GR issue.) strengthen their immune system to fight against Corona Virus. Along with an ordinary (what’s ORDINARY food? NUTRITIOUS seems more appropriate. LR.) food, (THEY are NOT along with ordinary food. The introducer can’t modify THEY. It can be linked with EXERCISE. Here is a sentence structure: They also follow a simple exercise routine along with nutritious food.) they tend to follow a simple exercise routine. Unlike the extensive gym workout culture of the west, people Indians (without west and Indians, your sentence is not as specific as it should be.) prioritize effortless yoga and morning walk that help them to be maintain their normal body functions and prevent the health problems such as obesity and cardiovascular diseases.

Your ideas are specific and well developed. But, there are a few GR and sentence structuring issues. LR is not optimum.

In addition, people my countrymen are highly aware of mental health and do make umpteen efforts to maintain it. Firstly, the joint living culture, where two or three generations are living live together, plays a vital role in this. This It encourages them to share their bad and good times with each other and, ultimately, releases their stress. Furthermore, the frequent events such as festivals and religious gatherings also act as a stress buster where people spend time with their friends and enjoy at their fullest. For example, during Holi, a colorful Indian festival, people tend to apply vibrant colors on each other and enjoy the music and dance that help them to fight against their mental pressure.

You’ve made frequent mistakes in the use of the article ‘THE’. Please read this article to understand its correct usage.

In conclusion, the healthy diet and exercise routine coupled with the unisolated (never heard of this word.) social culture of the society make the citizens of my country makes people physically and mentally fit.

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