Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Contact Staff At All Times.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

Answer:

In today’s competitive era, it is expected that employers employees (LR issue) should be always approachable by their managers even after their working hours or and on holidays. This trend is advantageous to employers in case of emergency situations and for the smooth functioning of the business. However, (Use any one cohesive device – however or on the other hand.) workers, on the other hand, have to face excessive stress and issues at their (their = personal) personal front.

One of the benefits of this approach is that it can help in managing emergency and critical situations. For example, medical workers including doctors and nurses need to be present immediately in case of any emergency like accidents (any = singular) an accident or a trauma. Their quick availability in such cases can save lives. (So, should they be in touch at all times? Say it CLEARLY. TR issue.) As a result, they should be in contact with the hospital administration at all times. Another merit is the effective operation of a business. In certain areas of the business, the 24-hour presence of staff is required for addressing the complaints of customers. Otherwise, it will result in the loss of valuable clients. (So, should they be in touch at all times? Say it CLEARLY. TR issue.) So, the staff can not afford to switch their phones off even during holidays.

On the contrary, major concerns to the employees is are (concerns = plural.) due to increased stress faced by them. (Sentence structuring and LR issue. LR is too low. On the contrary, employees develop extreme stress and suffer from related ailments due to such unhealthy practices.) People take off from their work to distress and rejuvenate themselves. But, if they will have to answer the work-related queries while even on vacation, (let us avoid repeating the word STRESS.) they can feel burdened and exhausted. it can add to their stress instead of refreshing them. Consequently, it will hamper their work productivity. A survey by The Times of India showed that an individual needs a minimum of ten days break from work in a year in order to perform to one’s at optimum potential.

Furthermore, being contacted by the managers during their (what does their refer to? The confusion arises due to weird nature of the sentence structure.) leave period interferes in the family time of the staff. (Furthermore, when staff is compelled to be available during off-business hours, their family life is disturbed.) It becomes difficult for them to strike a balance between their personal and professional lives. As a result, they will have to (Why change the tense? Stick to the Simple Present Tense – just like the previous sentence.) face conflicts in the family because of their inability to fulfil family commitments. A research done by the Home magazine has shown that devoting time to work on weekends contributes to 50% of the personal problems encountered by a professional. Not every example has to be a research or a survey. You can build examples from your knowledge. What are a person’s family commitments? Under such tremendous work pressure, a man is unable to play games with his children or follow hobbies or attend family gatherings without being disturbed by business calls. This creates tension between family members.

In conclusion, contacting employers in their non-working hours has more disadvantages including excessive strain and personal problems experienced by an employer while offering few advantages to employers like the uninterrupted working of their business.

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