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IELTS Essay Correction: Success Is A Measure Of Intelligence.

Some people think that success is a measure of intelligence while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Answer:

While some people believe that the intelligence of a person can be measured by his successful career, I believe that it is defined by his reaction to a problematic situation and the steps he takes after facing failures.

Everyone in this world faces numerous problems throughout his life. While a non-intelligent person gets depressed and behaves angrily on facing a problem, a wise (wisdom is not the same as intelligence. LR issue.) person stays calm. (Restructure: While an intelligent person stays calm during a crisis, others get depressed and behave angrily.) In this way, he diverts his mind from the negativity and invests his energy in finding the solutions. In the 2011 cricket world cup, when Sachin Tendulkar got run-out in the finals, everyone in the Indian (The missing words will cost you bands in LR.) team got extremely stressed and lost their hope. The nervousness and anxiety among all resulted in the fall of four more wickets in the next five overs. At that time, MS Dhoni, the former captain of India, reacted neutrally with no worries on his face. With this behaviour, he was able to score well and lead India to win the world cup. Thus, a wise reaction (how is the reaction wise?) completely defines the intelligence of a person. (Confusion – India won = success. So, success becomes a measure of intelligence. Right? I can’t see calmness as a measure of intelligence. To do so, just shop short of success. Let me explain: At that time, M.S Dhoni, the former captain of India, acted calmly and scored a century. Irrespective of team’s success, this trait defines his intelligence.)

After a calm and composed reaction Moreover, if a person is learning learns from his mistakes and not committing does not commit (note the tense. Guess why?) the same mistake again, it should be regarded as a sign of intelligence. Sachin, the world’s best batsman, never got out on the same dismissal as he had in previous matches. Similarly, Elon Musk, the founder of PayPal and Tesla who is one of the intelligent persons on this earth, failed in numerous approaches attempts at while launching a reusable rocket, but he never repeated the same mistake, which leads led to the production of the world’s first reusable rocket.

To recapitulate, although for some people success is the only criterion to measure intelligence, I believe that a calm response to a problem along with learning from mistakes are is (X along with Y = singular) important measures to define it.

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