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IELTS Essay Evaluation: Employees Should Dress Smartly.

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value the quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

Every organization follows a different strategy to succeed in its business. Many companies ask their (1) employees to wear smart clothes at the workplace as they present the companies’ image (whose image? Incomplete.) and bring discipline in that (THAT does not refer to anything) at workplace. Others emphasize on the work performance because it provides freedom (to whom? This is too vague.) and reduces the financial burden of their workers. I agree with the latter system. (Others emphasize that work efficiency is more desirable than appearance since it reduces the financial burden of both employees and company.)

1. Unnecessary pronoun. Also, it creates confusion with the next pronoun (THEY) which refers to EMPLOYEES.

Well dressed employees attract the attention of customers in any organization. (2) As they are the first point of contact, their appearance plays an important role to impress the people visiting the company. (How and Why? EXPLAIN in at least one sentence.) It gives the impression that the company is serious about business. Additionally, adequate dressing makes the workers feel that certain strict regulations are being followed in the company. This not only maintains the discipline at in the work area but also enhances sincerity toward their job. For example, students interact in a professional way with the professor wearing a formal suit while their approach can be more friendly with the teacher wearing jeans and T-shirt. (Hold it! You’re referring to STUDENTS’ interaction with a PROFESSOR. But, the point is about behaviour of the employee – the professor in this case. It is not about the students. Also, I think it is not wise to present student-teacher relationship as similar to customer-organization interaction. The example is poor in task response.) For example, the sales staff in a jewelry shop must give greater importance to clean, formal clothes as it forces them to behave in a formal manner and enables them to impress customers before they sell an expensive item. Therefore, sometimes it is mandatory to give importance to the clothing style at the workplace.

2. Just a sentence structuring issue. Many examiners may choose to ignore this misdemeanor. But, for your knowledge, let me point it out. “In any organization” needs to be placed at the beginning of the sentence. Ask yourself “Who is in an organization?” Employees or customers. Customers, certainly not. “In any organization, well-dressed employees attract the attention of customers.”

On the other hand, I support the view that liberty to wear the clothes of their choice reduces the (“the X of Y”) unwanted expenses of employees. They can work with a limited variety of clothes instead of buying different and good looking dresses. For example, a worker, whose salary is less than thirty thousand INR, can not afford one formal suit every month which costs more than five thousand rupees. Therefore, he has to quit such an organisation (there is no mention of any organization in the previous sentence.) the organization that makes such demands despite having vast knowledge in his domain. Moreover, when employees feel that their the quality of their work is given more importance than the dressing style, they feel more confident and connected to the company. They focus to improve their performance instead of diverting their mind toward unwanted distractions.

To conclude, although dressing plays a vital role in many organizations, I believe that giving it more value than the work-related skills can never be in the favor of organization. Companies can lose their potential workers’ confidence and dedication toward work if they follow such a system.

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