More and more people are working at home rather than at workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer:
Distant employment (Distant employment is not the same as ‘work from home’. It means working away from home. Do not change the sense in pursuit of synonyms. This will severely impact your TR and LR scores.) is becoming a common sight. Nowadays, majority of people are working from home. (Let us merge sentences 1 and 2. Note the use of AND to create a complex sentence. ) Work from home is becoming common these days and most people prefer this option instead of travelling to office. Despite of (The correct construction is “Despite X, Y”. ‘OF’ is not required with DESPITE.) having satisfactory response from employees, working (Wrong MODIFIER. – 1.) from home for a long duration is unhealthy. (Though employees prefer working from home, it is not healthy as it promotes sedentary lifestyle.) In my opinion, having a work-life balance is important and that can only be achieved while working from office.
- I’ll explain MODIFIERS in VOICE NOTES sent to your WhatsApp.
Working from home has many (numerous/ several) advantages for an individual. Firstly, workers who used have to relocate to another towns (ANOTHER = Singular; Towns = plural. GR issue.) and living live far from offices saves (Subject-Verb disagreement. Subject = Workers = Plural. Verb has to be plural. ‘SAVE’) a lot of time which was getting wasted in daily commute. (Firstly, the workers who live far from offices have to spend several hours commuting everyday and this time can be saved by simply working from home.) This also reduced reduces the vehicular usage and controlled controls pollution levels in cities, hence providing clean air to the residents. (Wrong use of PAST TENSE here.) Secondly, employees can take out some time in their shift hours to attend personal errands if necessary which otherwise was is not possible during office work. Employees also save a lot of money which otherwise is spent on rent and fuel. earlier was being paid as rent, fuel and for groceries.
NOTE: The above paragraph is on ADVANTAGES of Work from home. So, the next should be ADVANTAGES of work from office and DISADVANTAGES of work from home. You’ve written on DISADVANTAGES of work from office. That’s WRONG!
As for some people, Unfortunately, (Poor connection with the previous sentence. CC. Choose the right introducer.) this lifestyle (THIS is a weak connector. Discuss with me.) has interfered with their personal life and social circle. They are always glued to their laptops and rarely carry out a meaningful professional discussion with their coworkers and a personal discussion with their family. Working from office, on the other hand, promotes healthy discussions that lead to superior and smooth product development . Employees have to carry laptops everywhere (Are they not staying at home, as your previous paragraph states? This will result in poor TR.) which causes burden on their mind. (Also, you’ve not explained loss of personal life and social circle and you’ve jumped to the next idea. EXPLAIN one idea completely before jumping to the next one. Note that I’ve done that above with one sentence explanation.) Some become more anxious while other completely carefree. (This sentence does not connect with the previous sentence. Loss of CC.) As a result, they start spending less and less time with their families and this causes distress. Moreover, a clinical research has proven that always working on laptops increases chances of anxiety and depression in people and they often have to seek medical assistance while working from office gives space for informal talk and coffee breaks which play a vital role in breaking working related stress. The enjoyment time gets reduced and person remains annoyed most of the time times. The untimely meetings and project deadlines upsets them and they cannot even leave the office discussion at office.
In my conclusion, although work from home has provided people flexibility, they have lost the relaxed mind state. The work from home should be for a limited time only a limited time provision and people should come to the office premises to work. Companies can also give an option to the workers to pick their suitable working method.
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