Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Evaluation: Doctors Should Educate Patients

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.


It is argued that medical practitioners should be considered (unnecessary word. Eliminating it does not change the meaning of your sentence. Brevity!) responsible for maintaining (Oops! ‘MAINTAINING health’ is not same as “EDUCATING about health”. Loss of TR.) the health of patients. (It is argued that doctors should share their extensive medical knowledge to educate patients about healthy lifestyle choices.) I completely agree with this belief as patients trust the doctors and follow their suggestions seriously and patients have little knowledge about the diet plan. (Let us change the sentence structure so that you are not compelled to write PATIENTS twice: “I completely agree with this proposition as patients NOT ONLY trust doctors and follow their advice BUT ALSO have little knowledge of diet plan.”)

Firstly, patients have faith in doctors so they listen to them and maintain the lifestyle suggested. Being a layman, patients (PATIENTS = plural; LAYMAN = singular. They are incompatible. Write ‘a patient is …’) are dependent on doctors so it is their duty to diagnose the medical problem insufficient vitals and suggest the treatment accordingly. (So, should they be RESPONSIBLE? You’ve missed TR. Being responsible means that doctors can be prosecuted in the court of law if she does not teach patient about health.) Your IDEAS are not properly explained.

Since patients are laymen, it is the duty of the doctors to thoroughly teach them about right exercise regimes, nutritious food, and staying free of stress. Since only doctors have both the medical know-how and authority, they must use them to make a society health and disease free. For instance, India has become the diabetes capital of the world only because the medical practitioners do not teach patients about healthy life choices such as regular exercise and avoiding fried food.

Similarly, they also make them understand the importance of exercises, and healthy diet in life. For example, if the (please understand the difference between “a” and “the”. Let me know if you want me to explain and I will share a voice note.) a patient is feeling weakness in bones, doctor can deeply examine the reports of the patient deeply, and can refer to take (LR issue. DOCTORS just ‘refer’.) Vitamin D injections to maintain the health. (I can’t see “EDUCATE” and “RESPONSIBILITY” here. Loss of TR. See my sentences in BLUE above and note the use of “do not teach”.)

Secondly, patients have no idea about the food or lifestyle which is bad for negatively impact (adversely influence) (poor choice of words – LR issue) their health. Medical experts such as dieticians are qualified and trained in such a way that they can easily diagnose the symptoms of the patients (Serious LR issue. SYMPTOMS are not of a PATIENT. SYMPTOMS are of a DISEASE.) of a disease and suggest appropriate diet plan. Moreover, their are numerous dieticians who can examine the patients and provide the diet. (Unnecessary sentence. Will impact your LR score.) For instance, Dr. Loveleen, one of the famous dietician in Chandigarh, organises (Subject-verb disagreement) a session to understand the health issues faced by their her clients and based on that provides different diet plans such as ketj diet, protein rich diet, high fat diet. (A LOT of GR issues in this sentence. Mostly SUBJECT-VERB.)

In conclusion, patients should be dependable (Search the meaning of DEPENDABLE. This is not the right word here. Trust me!) rely on doctors for their health as they have faith in doctors and have zero knowledge about the nutritional values of different food.

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