Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Evaluation: Animal Extinction.

Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

Many animals are on the verge of extinction. Some people claim that only those animals which are crucial for human beings should be preserved. I completely disagree with this opinion as it disturbs the ecosystem and makes (Subject-verb disagreement) future generation unaware about the extinct species.

Conservation of fewer (FEWER is incorrect. Can you guess the reason?) species imbalance (IMBALANCE is a noun. You’ve used it as a verb. This is grammatically incorrect.) the ecosystem. (Conservation of only a few species CREATES an imbalance in the ecosystem.) Certain carnivores animals feed only on herbivores animals. Thus, the (“The X of Y” construction.) extinction of grass eating animals force them to hunt on human lives humans or omnivores animals, which disturbs the environment. Snake, for instance, feeds on frogs and if certain species of snakes will (‘IF’ part of the “If, then” construction is always in the present tense.) disappear, we will have ample amount (I explained this in one of your previous essays as well. AMOUNT = uncountable. Number = countable.) number of frogs on earth. Moreover, it is also risky for humans as flesh eating animals hunt on human beings. You’ve stated this earlier also. Give an example instead of repeating the same idea. Similarly, as the deer population falls in some parts of Bengal, tigers are forced to feed on humans in nearby villages.

Preservation of certain species which are vital for individuals make coming generations unaware about the extinct animals. Since children can only view the an image and read about animals which no longer exist, they are not able to experience them in their natural habitats and in zoo, they have lesser knowledge about extinct animals. (Sentence structure mistake. “Since X, Y” construction is complete. This part of the sentence is not properly integrated with the sentence.) ; consequently, thy have lesser knowledge about the extinct species. For example, only textbooks provide information about extinct animals such as dodo bird and quagga and lesser efforts are done by government and wildlife santuaries to conserve (If they are extinct, you can’t conserve them. LR issue.) them in captivities under supervision for people to experience them with the naked eyes.

In conclusion, protection of certain species which are essential for masses will destroy the ecosystem and make youngsters unaware about the extinct species.

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