Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Evaluation: Plastics Damage Environment.

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Answer:

Some people argue that plastic items such as plastic packaging, plastic boxes ranging from bags and toys to packaging materials and boxes (It is understood that these items are made of plastic since you’ve written “plastic items”.) adversely affect the environment. The primary damage it is causing is plastic pollution. since they are not biodegradable. Government can launch campaign and impose fine and people can use their (Their = “plastic substitutes” in the first sentence.) substitutes of plastic to conserve the environment.

LR issue. You’ve used the word PLASTIC multiple times. Note that I’ve found ways to use it only once and I’ve avoided any (wrong) synonyms.

By the use of plastic creates pollution. Since it cannot be recycled, it fills the landfills. Thus, spread diseases among humans and animals. (What is this? Three small and simple sentences that will fetch you not more than 5 bands. I did’t see this blunder in your previous essays. Also, all three sentences do not connect – I mean logically. How are recycle, landfills, pollution connected?) Since plastic cannot be degraded by microorganisms, it stays in the environment even after humans have trashed it and once it enters landfills as garbage, it pollutes the air and water around that landfill. When humans breathe this air and consume this water, they catch serious ailments such as cancer, asthma, and cardiovascular diseases. Moreover, even if we bury the plastic it it, it (Moreover, even after burial, it …….) releases a lot of carbon dioxide and spread pollution diseases (what is this? There nothing called “pollution diseases”.) among masses. (The arguments are poorly constructed. Loss of TR.) For example, a report published by the Municipal Corporation of India revealed that 80% of people living along with near landfill sites in Delhi are suffering from us, and other lung diseases.

Government should launch awareness campaigns (OR “an awareness campaign”) in media and in schools making youngsters and elder people aware about (“aware about” is incorrect. The correct preposition with “aware” is “of”.) of the (“The X of Y” construction.) negative effects of using plastic. Seminars can be arranged in educational institutions and public parks providing knowledge about alternative material of alternatives to plastic such as jute and bamboo bags. (Alternative to = Use A instead of B. Both A and B are nouns. “Of” is incorrect.) Moreover, they (A pronoun can refer only to the nearest noun. You used the noun “government” in the first sentence. Here, it can’t go such a long way to the subject of the first sentence. Wrong way of using a pronoun.) should also impose penalties on shopkeepers who sell products in plastic bags. Even individuals can also (Use any one – “Even” or “Also”. Don’t use both in the same sentence.) contribute towards environment by using clothes bag cloth bags, and reusing plastic containers for storing kitchen material. For instance under Plastic Pollution Drive, Government of India cancelled commercial license of shopkeepers who sold products in plastic bags.

In conclusion, items made up of plastic creates create pollution in environment. In order to preserve the environment government should make efforts like spreading awareness, penalizing plastic use. Apart from this, individuals should reuse an old plastic material and shift to other safer options rather than plastic.

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