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IELTS Essay Evaluation: Fixed Punishment For Each Type of Crime.

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

I’ve evaluated another essay on the same topic. You can visit the page below and go through it: https://eltecenglish.com/2020/04/23/ielts-essay-correction-punishment-for-crimes/

Many people argue that every (Every = Singular; Ranging = Plural.) crimes ranging from murder and rape to theft and financial crime (money laundering, tax evasion) (1) should have a particular punishment to ensure justice to a victim and to reduce crime rate, while in my opinion cases should be judged individually after considering the emergency (wrong word choice. CRICUMSTANCES/ MOTIVATION are not the same as EMERGENCY) of criminals. 

  1. You can avoid repeating the word CRIME by writing names of “financial crimes”.

Since the a victim have has to bear the sufferings In terms of (redundant words. Your idea is complete even without these words.) pain, and (guess the reason and share with me) loss of family and money, declaring fixed punishment for convict provides them justice and strength to cope up with the losses. It also creates terror among the (these are not a specific category of criminals. These are criminals in general. The use of “the” is incorrect.) potential criminals as it involves conviction of minimum two to three (“minimum” is not a range. It’s a fixed number.) years, heavy penalties , loss of job, and destruction of reputation in public. For example, according to Section 392 of Indian Panel Code, irrespective of the circumstances, (2) whosoever commits robbery is punished with rigorous imprisonment which may extend upto ten years and is also liable to fine and such crime is a cognizable and non-bailable offence. 

2. This is necessary to write to express FIXED PUNISHMENT.

On the other hand, in my opinion, circumstances such as poverty, parental neglect, unemployment, social inequality, and low self esteem sometimes persuade a person to commit unlawful activities even when he have has no negative intention to hurt a sufferer. Moreover, many times people commit a crime in self- defense to protect to defend themselves. For instance, in India, in 2018, the verdict of judges was in favour of women who killed a rapist with a rod in self- defence. 

In conclusion although a fixed punishment limits the crime rate and provides iustice, it ignores the emergency circumstances of an offender and a dire need to commit a crime.

A lot of grammatical errors and a lack of vocabulary will impact your score in GR and LR.

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